Hentai It's a Disease and it's Spreading
by Kanna37
Summary: The group heads out to look for Naraku's soon to be woman, and meanwhile, one of the hentai gods visits Kikyou. What does she tell her? And what happens when the group finally catches up with her? A zany tale of Hentai-ness, and it's contagiousness.


**Hentai - It's a Disease... and it's Spreading**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything... let alone the characters of Inuyasha. I just enjoy playing with things that aren't mine.

---zZz---

Kikyou stared at her hand as she held it out before her, stunned. It was warm - and there was _blood. _That shouldn't be possible, though. She was dead. Nothing but pretty, painted pottery. And yet, according to the being standing before her, she had been given her life back.

The reason _behind_ it, though, is what was blowing her mind. The person standing before her was none other than Benten, the goddess of love. According to her, they had received the help of Gama, the god of longevity, to get her life back... and not just her life, but an exceptionally _extended_ life - and all she had to do was be open-minded when she received a certain suitor.

That thought caused her eyes to narrow. She might not be a kami, but she wasn't stupid. The kami were up to something... but what?

She looked up at the goddess before her, and asked, "This doesn't have anything to do with Inuyasha, does it?"

Benten shook her head. "Of course not! You aren't meant to put up with him, that's Kagome's job. There's someone else in store for you, you know. If you want to fight it, you can, of course," she shrugged quite casually, "but it won't matter in the end. We kami always get what we want, and we have plans for you and the male we've chosen for you. All I'm saying to you, is keep an open mind."

Kikyou looked down at the bloody scratch on her hand, and then raised it to her cheek, feeling the warmth there for the first time in fifty years, and finally nodded. She was well aware, as a servant of the kami herself, that she couldn't fight their will, and if they'd chosen someone for her, she'd eventually end up giving in whether she liked it at first or not.

She also knew that eventually she _would_ like it.

So she sighed, and bowed to the goddess. "Very well. I will try to keep an open mind, however, I still have a quest to finish - gathering the shikon before Naraku can get it all."

Benten waved a cheerful hand, shaking her head. "Oh, don't worry about him. He's not after the jewel anymore... turns out the jewel was only a means to an end for him, anyway, and he's found that he's tired of the whole game." She shot the priestess a serious look. "Now, I think you should wait here. Your new suitor is traveling here with Inuyasha's group, looking for you. We want to make it easy for them, ne?"

Kikyou just stared at the goddess before her, mind short-circuiting.

_Why did I want to be a priestess again? I must have been crazy to want to serve such crazy beings._

And then another thought kicked in.

_I really need some chocolate. Inuyasha had better have a box for me..._

_A big one._

---zZz---

Inuyasha glanced over at Naraku, and then caught Miroku's eye. "Alright... I think he's got a good start on the hentai thing. Now we have to track Kikyou down. Anyone got any ideas on how to find her?"

Naraku squinted up into the sky for a moment, looking thoughtful. "I could always have Kanna show us where she is in her mirror. But how do we get her to come with us?"

At that, Inuyasha grinned, and rubbed his hands gleefully. "You just leave that to me." He turned, and staring across the fire at Kagome, raised his voice and said, "Oi, wench... we should go to your home and get some supplies, because as soon as we get back, we're heading out to go look for something."

Kagome narrowed her eyes on Inuyasha, then glanced at Sango, and Kagura, who was sitting with them, Kanna by her side. _What's he up to?_

They all shrugged, so she nodded over at him. "Fine. Let me get my bag and we can go." She stood and moved over to her stuff, going through and emptying it in preparation for more supplies.

"Kanna, come here." Naraku beckoned the child over, when she reached him, he said, "Show us where the priestess Kikyou is."

She nodded silently, and her mirror flickered, then they all watched as a clearing appeared, with Kikyou sitting in a tree on the edges of it. "She is in the far north, Naraku," Kanna said, in her usual whispy voice.

"Well, then, we'll leave as soon as Kagome and I get back. Everyone had better be ready, got it?" The group nodded as Kagome came up to him, and he crouched, waiting for her to get on his back.

Naraku grinned as he watched Inuyasha's hands 'accidentally slide' just a _bit _higher on the girl's thighs than was strictly necessary, and glanced over at Miroku as the hanyou and his woman took off.

"You know, I could really get used to this hentai way of doing things."

Miroku chuckled. "And we have _another_ convert to the worship of the hentai gods."

The formerly dark hanyou nodded gleefully. "Indeed. This is a religion I have no problems practicing."

With a glance back at the women, and a thought to Kikyou, he grinned wickedly.

"No problems at _all."_

---zZz---

Kagome watched Inuyasha grab things and throw them into the cart with exasperation - ninety percent of what was in the cart was ramen, but there were a few other things in there as well... including a very large box of chocolates.

Now, Kagome wasn't stupid. She'd noticed over time that every so often, Inuyasha would decide to go shopping with her, and that when he did, he _always _grabbed a large box of the confection. And yet, she never saw him eat any. So, she had to wonder, just where were all the chocolates going?

She thought about that as they went through the check-out, as they walked back to the shrine, as they packed up all the goodies, and went back through the well, and by the time they had arrived back at the camp where the group was waiting, she'd come to some conclusions.

Not ones that she was happy about, either.

She was almost burning with the need to have a little discussion with their glorious leader, but eyeing the group surrounding them as they began to move out, she decided that now wasn't a good time. But, she promised herself, sooner or later...

She looked over at the love of her life with an ominous glow in her eyes.

_Just you wait, Inuyasha._

Inuyasha shivered, suddenly, unsure what it was, but pretty well aware that something, somewhere had it out for him...

He could feel it.

---zZz---

They traveled for several days, and the further they went, the more curious Kagome and Sango got. On top of the silence about where they were going, and what they were after, was the undeniable fact that something had changed. The hentai antics of the boys were at new heights... and if someone took a tumble off those heights, it was gonna hurt.

Needless to say, the girls were getting very apprehensive by the time they neared their destination... that was, until Kagome realized who they were heading for. At that point, all bets went out the window.

Inuyasha knew the moment Kagome picked up on Kikyou's presence, because she stiffened on his back so much that he thought she might break something. He could feel her glaring at the back of his head, and his ears went flat.

He was in trouble, and he knew it.

Silently praying to all the hentai gods that she'd keep her cool 'til they managed to talk to Kikyou, he skidded to a halt, Kagome silently sliding off his back, anger vibrating off her aura, and dropping her pack angrily in the road, she opened it and shoved the chocolate box into his hands.

"Here. I know you make me buy them for her, so go take them to her. What I want to know is why I had to come with you all the way out here just to get her. You didn't really need me for this." With that, she sent him a fuming glance, then turned and stomped off, leaving him slack-jawed behind her.

Naraku sauntered up and looked between her and Inuyasha, and shook his head. "Wow. What a spitfire. Does she really think you're still after Kikyou?"

Inuyasha glanced at him, obviously still dazed. "I... guess so. Feh. Stupid wench should know better." He shook his head to clear it, then motioned to Miroku. "Keep an eye on Kagome, and keep her here. I'm gonna go fetch Naraku's new girlfriend and bring her out of the trees. I'll be back in a few."

The two watched him scurry off into the trees, knowing that once Kikyou joined the group... it was _on. _

Hentai time was about to get a great _deal_ more interesting... and a lot more _hentai._

---zZz---

When Inuyasha walked out of the trees about fifteen minutes later with Kikyou, Kagome glared, then turned away, not wanting to see him using all his hentai tricks on the other woman, and so, was horribly caught off-guard when the elder miko stopped dead in her tracks and yelled, "Naraku!? _You're_ the one Benten was talking about?!"

She was frozen, mouth hanging open as Kikyou stomped into the camp carrying the box of chocolates, and walked over to her and Sango, plopping down like she'd always been part of their group. Kagome and Sango exchanged incredulous glances, then looked over at the guys, who were standing around smirking, and then finally, at Kikyou.

"Uh... Kikyou... why were you shouting about Benten?" Kagome was confused. What did the goddess of love have to do with Naraku?

Kikyou glared over at the males, then ripped the top off the box of candy and immediately popped one into her mouth. Then she looked over at Kagome, sheer exasperation on her face, and started waving her hands around, gesticulating wildly.

As she finished the candy in her mouth she said, "Benten made me wait here after giving me my life back for you guys to show up, saying that the guy I was supposed to be with would be traveling with you people. She told me that I needed to keep an open mind... but I didn't expect it to have to be _that _open!"

Kagome's mouth fell open again, and she stared at the irate woman, who growled under her breath, then popped another chocolate into her mouth, and scowled over at Inuyasha and Naraku again.

No need to ask... Kagome was speechless.

Kikyou, on the other hand, was not.

"I mean, how could the kami _do_ this to me? The guy_ killed _me, for heaven's sake!"

At that, Naraku cut in. "Ah, but my dear Kikyou... if you think back... I didn't kill you, I injured you. You _chose _not to get help for the wounds and let them bleed out, not me. It was never my intent to kill you."

She stared at him, and a shiver ran up _all _the males spines then. That look was deadly. "Listen up, Naraku. The kami may have decided to throw me to the spiders, metaphorically speaking, but I don't have to put up with lip from you! Keep it up, and I'll purify you!"

Naraku grinned. "Yes dear. And you know... there is a benefit from being thrown to me. You will never have to worry about another spider bothering you ever again."

Kikyou frowned thoughtfully at that. "Well, I suppose it will be nice to have a house free of spiders..." she trailed off, then popped another candy.

Sango glanced at Kikyou, then at Kagome, and then looked over at Inuyasha. "So... wait. Are you telling me that Kikyou is here for _Naraku's_ benefit and_ not _Inuyasha's?"

Inuyasha scowled at her. "Oi! What the hell would you think that for? Who the fuck wants two women anyway?" At Kagome's suddenly narrowed gaze, he said, "One's bad enough... only a dumbass would want double the trouble."

At that, Kagome smiled sweetly at him.

"But Inuyasha... who said you even had _one _woman?" Then she stood up and stalked away, heading for the tree line, and leaving a camp behind that was roaring with laughter at the horrified look on a certain inuhanyou's face.

With a smug glance, Miroku clapped Inuyasha on the back. "Better go track your woman, Inuyasha... wouldn't want her to find someone _else_ to play hentai games with, you know."

"Fuck! See? That's what I meant about women being trouble!"

He took off after Kagome before the rest of the women in camp could get ahold of him, and sighed as he tracked her.

_What a day. But... we're out here alone... and I don't have to worry about Naraku anymore..._

_This has many, many hentai possibilities._

---zZz---

Shippo shook his head wearily, and looked over at Kanna and Kagura. "You know things are going to get a whole lot worse now, right? All this hentai stuff is _so_ confusing... and yucky."

At that, Kagura let out a suddenly wicked laugh. "I don't know about that, Shippo. I think it could be kind of fun... I wonder where Sesshoumaru is?" she mused, a starry look invading her eyes.

The fox kit stared at the kaze youkai with horror. "Ah man, not you, too! Is it just me and Kanna and Kirara that are normal around here?"

Kanna didn't answer, but she did smile - and in her mirror, a boyishly handsome figure appeared...

Maybe she wasn't averse to hentai activities, herself.

---zZz---

A/N: Man. Things are gonna start heating up, now, as we come to the final few episodes of the hentai series. These last ones will technically mostly be lemons... so just a fair warning! Most of the series have been fairly innocent - until now. Next episode... we get to find out just what Inuyasha is up to with Kagome in the forest - and what Naraku has planned for Kikyou. Keep an eye out for A Hentai Hanyou - or Two!

Amber


End file.
